The timing of it all was rather amazing, because before I read the page, I had tossed out a handful of rose petals. Last spring I planted roses for Little Honey and Twister, and when Twister’s rose bloomed, I saved the petals. Last night I noticed they had gotten dusty, so I decided to toss them in the trash. I took two petals back out of the trash for the journal page, because I noticed they sort of formed a heart shape. I squeezed black and gray paint onto the pages and then closed them together like a Rorschach test. (PS: Here’s a fun online Rorschach Test you can take: http://personality-testing.info/tests/HEMCR.php. Yep, I’m crazy according to them!) After I squished the pages together, I opened them and added the heart and the quote and let them dry in front of the heater all night. I went to bed with paint on my hands, which is always the best feeling. When I woke up, the page was all dry and waiting for me, which is also the best feeling! When I look back over the past year, it may seem like I haven’t done much. But in reality: I’ve come a long way, baby!
Every night for the past year, I have read a page from the wonderfully helpful book Sandy sent me called "Healing After Loss" by Martha Whitmore Hickman. Last night I ended up back where I began, and there was a quote on the page by Charles Beard that I loved: “When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars.” Even though it was quite late, I just had to make a journal page to commemorate one year of grieving for Twister, my foster father. He died less than 6 months after Little Honey, so I was really still mourning her as well. I didn’t think a book would help me at all, and at first I asked Sandy not to send it. But I am glad I changed my mind, because it was such a great support to me. I highly recommend it to anyone who is navigating loss.
The timing of it all was rather amazing, because before I read the page, I had tossed out a handful of rose petals. Last spring I planted roses for Little Honey and Twister, and when Twister’s rose bloomed, I saved the petals. Last night I noticed they had gotten dusty, so I decided to toss them in the trash. I took two petals back out of the trash for the journal page, because I noticed they sort of formed a heart shape. I squeezed black and gray paint onto the pages and then closed them together like a Rorschach test. (PS: Here’s a fun online Rorschach Test you can take: http://personality-testing.info/tests/HEMCR.php. Yep, I’m crazy according to them!) After I squished the pages together, I opened them and added the heart and the quote and let them dry in front of the heater all night. I went to bed with paint on my hands, which is always the best feeling. When I woke up, the page was all dry and waiting for me, which is also the best feeling! When I look back over the past year, it may seem like I haven’t done much. But in reality: I’ve come a long way, baby!
2 Comments
2/8/2013 12:52:01 pm
Hmm. It seems to me a very special friend sent me a copy of that book. All of the quotes are excellent! I love your journal page. It's perfect for the quote. I really like that you put the rose petals on it. There's something so special about roses, especially when they are part of important memories. I hope to be able to order a David Austin rose this spring to plant in memory of my mother. You should go to that web site and order the free catalog. The pictures are gorgeous!
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D'Rose "Post Card Gal"
2/8/2013 02:50:22 pm
M, This is so serendipitous. While grieving Mom and wondering what the next torture was going to be from my sister a dear friend who had lost her twin girl suddenly gave me this book. I have it underlined in colors and I have read and reread it. I love the pages where I have made comments and dated them because they remind me of where I was when I was traversing on that page. As the years have rolled forward I sometimes open the book to the day's date and ever feel a sense of relief. Grieving is an interesting process that I feel our culture does a good job of "numbing out from it" by workaholism, alcoholism, Excessive TVism, chocolatism, you name it there is a grand numbing factor in some shape or form that works to allow us to "STIFF UP and CARRY ON . . ." Which ultimately is such a silly bunch of sick B.S. (Belief Systems). I'm all for feeling my feelings, not become slaves to them but allowing them to come out in starry starry night skies, Which by the by I LOVE your piece and the rose heart is the bomb. I LOVE YOU and your spontaneous way of doing what the paper is telling you it wants.
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AuthorHi! I'm Marguerite Bryant, but most folks just call me "M." This blog will be a place to share my musings and inspirational ideas. Categories
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