Here's another passage from my book. Thoughts?
If you are dragging your heels about doing something that you say you want, then there is probably something emotional holding you back. My obstacle was organization. For some reason I could never quite get there, though I said I wanted it for years. I had decided to spend a weekend organizing, but then I felt myself avoiding it, yet again. I decided to investigate the subject further in my journal, and this was what I asked myself to get to the root of the hold up:
What will happen if I get organized?
I will save a lot of time doing projects of any kind because I will know exactly where everything is, which will make me more productive. I will save money by avoiding late fees on bills. I will feel clearer-headed without so much clutter.
What will happen if I don't get organized?
I will never quite be “all there” because the clutter distracts me. I will keep getting late fees. I will put off doing projects because I can't find what I need, which will lead to creative frustration and a general ongoing bad mood.
What is the worst case scenario?
I will become a crazy old hoarder who has to make trails through her stuff to get to the bathroom.
I'll become like my dad.
I'll do it, and then end up organizing stuff that makes me sad, like keepsakes of people who have died who I miss.
So many people I love have died that I feel like I'll start crying and never stop.
That got to the heart of what was stopping me, you see.
Logically, I knew that if I ran across something that made me sad, I may cry, but I would eventually stop...It's like there was this scared little kid inside me who was afraid to proceed, so I decided to take it slow and gentle, and just organized for 5 minutes a day. I figured out ways to make it more fun, like choosing a 5 minute song to play on my record player while I organized. I said “Yay me!” after each session, and then had myself a little snack. It's like I was taking the scared little girl in me by the hand and leading her through the dark scary basement of my emotions, (Emotions held in things attached to memories) and finding that it usually wasn't that scarey at all. Rewarding myself with a treat at the end each time made it fun too. It became a part of my day, and no longer a fear. I started paying attention to things that bugged me, like late fees on bills, and created easy systems to address them. (Such as writing bill due dates on my calender in a happy color that attracts my eye in a positive way.) It didn't happen overnight, obviously. And yes, there were some emotional landmines along the way, but I got through it all a stronger person, by George! Not only a stronger person, but a more clear-headed and productive person who no longer pays late fees!
It would have never come to pass without my journal to help me sort out what was really going on.
These questions can work, obviously, with any subject that you are avoiding.
What will happen if I do?
What will happen if I don't?
What's the worst case scenario?