I need a leather flog to beat the grief out of my heart, because there is no room for anymore. I must knock it all loose: my mother’s suicide, my babies, my husband’s young love lost to leukemia, my grandparents, my father, my foster parents, and oh so many friends and furry family members. I love them all, and I carry them in my heart always. But right now they all seem so heavy and my heart feels full of sludge. I need a drain plug and a high powered hose of some sort. Clean me out Lord, clean me out!
In an effort to help the process, I have been cleaning my surroundings out and getting rid of excess things that used to define me and no longer do. I have given up items I never thought I would part with. All of this loss has changed me. I don’t know who I am becoming. Sometimes I think I could live in a cave like the hermit in that Tom Robbins novel/movie “Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.”
I actually hitchhiked with a guy back in the olden days of my crazy misspent youth who used these same techniques, (see clip) and we always got a ride! I wonder what ever happened to him. Sometimes I miss those days. As Jerry Garcia said “What a Long Strange Trip it’s Been.”